TRUMP DRAMA
Eric Trump Says He’ll Run For President In 2028
“I was first, so Ivanka and Don Jr. can suck it!”
The sibling rivalry between Donald Trump’s three oldest children is getting more heated as Eric Trump just announced his 2028 presidential candidacy.
Eric is the first Trump kid to officially launch a presidential campaign, though both Donald Jr. and Ivanka are rumored to be exploring future runs as well.
“I was first,” explained Eric in a brief press conference with reporters this morning. “I have dibs so my brother and sister better back off. Ivanka thinks she deserves to be the first Trump president of the next generation because she’s a girl, but she’s just a stuck-up, bossy phony. It’s so unfair and irrational that she’s my father’s favorite. Everyone knows that hereditary succession goes to the sons before the daughters. My dad is going to harm our own family dynasty by endorsing her ahead of me. He’s only doing it because he thinks she’s hot, and she wears bikini tops around Mar-a-Lago a lot. I don’t know why people think she’s hot. She’s gross. I totally disagree with my dad on that one. And her husband Jared sure is getting a lot of money from the Saudis, isn’t he? Talk about sketchy. If I were the Democrats, I’d totally be subpeonaing some documents and phone records on that…
