TRUMP VS TRUMP
Eric Trump And Don Jr. Have Formed An Alliance Against Ivanka And Jared
The Trump kids are fighting over money, Trump Organization properties, and who will get to run for president first.
There is a civil war brewing in the Trump family over the criminal investigations swirling around nearly everything Donald Trump has ever done in politics, business, and his personal life, and the Trump kids are reportedly fighting amongst each other over who will take over which Trump-branded property when their dad is inevitably indicted and imprisoned.
According to family friends of the Trumps, they’re also fighting over who will get to run for president first. Eric and Donald Jr. have agreed to form an alliance to better combat the advantage Ivanka and her husband Jared Kushner have because of their father’s attraction to her.
“I’m not at liberty to disclose any information about a secret alliance,” explained Eric Trump in a brief press conference this morning, “but I will say that my father has very bad taste in daughters. My half-sister Tiffany is way hotter, if you ask me, which I can say from the half of me that is not related to her. I don’t know why my father loves Ivanka so much, I personally think she’s gross and a total phony. It just so happens that my brother Don Jr. coincidentally agrees with…
