FAMILY DRAMA

Donald Trump’s Uncle Who Works At MIT Thinks He’s An Idiot

Dash MacIntyre
3 min readOct 24, 2022

“All those paint chips he used to eat as a kid really wrecked his brain.”

(Official White House photo | via Flickr.com Public Domain CC 1.0)

Former President Donald Trump regularly speaks of his uncle who worked at MIT, and references his uncle’s intelligence as an indication of his own brain power.

I reached out to Uncle John G. Trump to get his thoughts on his nephew, and the following is a transcript of our conversation:

Dash MacIntyre: “What do you think about your nephew Donald Trump?”

John G. Trump: “He was an even dumber President than I thought he’d be, and that’s saying something because I was sure my nephew would be absolutely terrible, inept, incompetent, and emotionally unfit for the job. I’ve known him his whole life, and, unfortunately, all those paint chips he used to eat as a kid clearly had disastrously negative effects on his brain development. His parents were always catching him licking the walls, and eating the flakes he could pick off when they weren’t looking. Every time I’d come over to visit they’d be yelling at him constantly about it. And, don’t forget, in those days the paint was loaded up with lead. You’re not supposed to have lead in your system when you’re growing up, and Donald J. Trump is a perfect case study of why.”

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.