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Donald Trump’s Terrible Week Explained
These following headlines you likely missed explain the week of Donald Trump’s delusions and Republican absurdities:
BREAKING: Marjorie Taylor Greene says all MAGA patriots should write “Let’s Go Brandon” all over their ballots when they vote.
BREAKING: Former Secret Service official Tony Ornato still hasn’t testified under oath about his denials that Donald Trump regularly choked out Secret Service agents, made them swear loyalty to him, taste his food for poison, spray tan his naked body, and send him pics from Ivanka’s beach vacations.
BREAKING: After Donald Trump asked Don Jr. if he ever wanted to run for president, Don Jr. reportedly asked “Did they drug test you?”
BREAKING: Donald Trump watched the FL governor debate between Ron DeSantis and Charlie Crist today, and reportedly threw ketchup on the walls with glee over how awkward and beatable DeSantis will be in 2024. He wrote “I will beat Ron” on the wall in ketchup with his finger, and then remarked to Lindsey Graham, who was hanging out at Mar-a-Lago, “Wouldn’t it be hot if Ivanka came out only wearing a bikini made of ketchup?”
BREAKING: The Texas GOP just passed a resolution claiming that the clitoris and female orgasm don’t exist.
