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FATHER OF THE BRIDE

Donald Trump’s Speech At Tiffany’s Wedding Was Exactly What You’d Expect

Trump couldn’t help but make his father of the bride speech about himself.

Dash MacIntyre
4 min readNov 14, 2022

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(Official White House photo by Shealah Craighead | Public Domain CC 1.0)

The following was Donald Trump’s speech at his daughter Tiffany’s wedding after being wedded to Michael Boulos:

“Tiffany, you look so beautiful tonight. I’m so proud to be your father. Your mother did a great job raising you. I know I wasn’t around much when you were a little girl, but you had my Trump genes so I always knew you’d turn out okay. Michael, you better treat her well. You’re stealing my daughter from me, just like Joe Biden stole the election from me, even though I did so many great things for America. Michael, I hope you make a lot of money because Tiffany is used to a man in her life making billions and billions of dollars with some of the greatest real estate holdings and golf courses of all time. And you better not cheat on her. Cheating is one of my biggest pet peeves. So there better be no collusion with no other women, you hear me? But be careful, because sometimes the tabloids and fake news just make up stories of collusion. Like the Russia hoax, which never happened. Ask some of the women around here tonight, they know that I’m a total germaphobe. But I don’t want to talk about myself tonight…

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Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.

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