BIBLE IGNORAMUS!
Donald Trump’s Favorite Bible Stories
His knowledge of the Bible is quite limited, and more than a little spliced with Greek mythology.
Donald Trump has a shaky grasp of the Bible, and it’s always obvious he has no clue what he’s talking about when he tries to answer questions about his favorite Bible stories.
The following are all things Trump has said when asked to elaborate on his thoughts about Jesus:
The Ark
“A lot of people’d don’t know this, but Jesus was a great boatbuilder. Maybe the best boatbuilder of all time. His Ark was just incredible, especially at that time. A lot of people had no idea arks could be so great. The way he sailed the Jewish people out of Egypt to the Promised Land of Sodomy and Gonorrhea during the Great Flood showed such intelligence and courage. He must have had a big brain. Sometimes I wonder how the brains of the Trump family compare to the big brains of the Christ family. The doctor told my mother when I was born, ‘Ma’am, your baby has the biggest brain I’ve ever seen!’ I wonder if baby Jesus’s doctor said the same thing to Mrs. Christ. In a way, building arks is kind of like building big, beautiful hotels. Me and Jesus sure are similar, aren’t we, folks? I wish Jesus would have written a…
