HE’S GETTING DESPERATE!

Donald Trump’s Dumbest Legal Strategies Yet

Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

Donald Trump is grasping at straws legally, but that won’t stop him from proverbially throwing spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks:

• Blame Rudy: “Jack Smith is absolutely deranged to prosecute me for election fraud. It was all Rudy Giuliani! I had nothing to do with it. I couldn’t even be in the same room as Rudy because he was always farting, dripping hair dye all over the place, talking unintelligibly because he was drunk every day by 10am, and putting his hands in his pants like a total perv!”
• Secret Service alibi: “I wasn’t there at the Capitol on January 6th so how can I be indicted? I didn’t fight any cops, break any windows, or try to hang Mike Pence. The Secret Service wouldn’t drive me to the Capitol. I was furious about it at the time, and may have committed some light assaults trying to choke out my drivers, but boy am I sure glad they didn’t drive me there now since the DOJ is making such a big deal about those tourist visits of Congress.”
• Extremist legal rationales: “My lawyers have been very clear that I can’t be indicted for anything I did as president because of executive privilege, I can’t be indicted for anything after I was president because I’m running again so it’ll be election interference, I can’t be indicted by my…