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LOVE IN THE GOP!
Donald Trump’s (And Other Republicans’) Love Languages
There are many more love languages than the traditional 5!
The five traditional love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch, but the number of ways people can express love is limitless!
We checked in with our favorite Republicans to find out their love languages:
Donald Trump: You being willing to sign an all-inclusive nondisclosure agreement.
Donald Trump Jr.: Whispering “Your dad told me he loves you, and he’s just got too tough an exterior to tell you himself.”
Ivanka Trump: Planning with her the perfectly untraceable murder and dismemberment of her brothers, Tiffany, and Melania so she can inherit everything in her father’s will and real estate empire for herself.
Rudy Giuliani: Giving him a 32-ounce Big Gulp cup of scotch while listening to him tell stories about his various extra-terrestrial abductions, anal probings, and the time he spent nine Earth months living in a zoo on a planet several galaxies over in captivity with the actress Jennifer Lawrence with whom he conceived a child the aliens kept to raise and make their galactic emperor.
