Donald Trump Won’t Let Jared Kushner Into His Next Administration

Dash MacIntyre
8 min readFeb 16, 2024
Photo by Suzy Brooks on Unsplash

Donald Trump announced this morning he will not be allowing his son-in-law to work in his next administration if reelected. Trump also launched a lawsuit against Jared Kushner to get some of the $2 billion in Saudi wealth fund investments Mr. Kushner received after leaving the White House in 2021.

“That Saudi money is absolutely mine, and Jared knows it, quite frankly,” said Mr. Trump in a press conference at his Mar-a-Lago beach resort. “He only got the money in the first place because he was going to be the middleman, and hold onto the money for a little bit so no one would notice when a few months later later he sent it to me. But it’s been two and a half years, and he never sent it. It’s so bad what he’s doing. And he thinks there’s nothing I can do because it’s laundered money, but I’m suing him in a civil suit. And no one knows more about lawsuits than me. I’m always in them being sued by women, my contractors, a bunch of states, the District of Columbia, the federal government, and did I mention a whole bunch of women? But Jared can’t beat me. In fact, I’ve got Rudy Giuliani snooping around in Jared and Ivanka’s trash bins right now as we speak. He’s gonna find all of Jared’s secrets. And if he finds any discarded bras of Ivanka’s, he better turn them into me. You hear that, Rudy? I get the bras. That little rat, stealing my…

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.