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PRE-R.I.P.!
Donald Trump Has Already Written His Own Obituary, Here It Is
This is how Donald Trump wants us to remember him when he dies.
Here lies Donald J. Trump, a former president, a business genius, a real estate mogul, and father of one of the great beauties of all time, Ivanka Trump, who everyone talked about during his lifetime how he could totally have dated her if he wasn’t her dad.
He also leaves behind four other children: Donald Jr., though his last testament and will specifically requests his oldest son to legally change his name so that he can’t ruin his father’s tremendous legacy by being a loser; Eric, who Mr. Trump would like to reveal at last is not his biological child; Tiffany, who has developed a nice chest like Mr. Trump said she would in media interviews when she was a baby; and Barron, who was named after the best PR agent/journalist/gossip source Mr. Trump ever knew.
Mr. Trump also leaves behind a loving, doting wife Melania, who cherished holding his hand in public, decorating his White House for Christmas, and being a way better First Lady with a much more compelling and original memoir than Obama’s wife. However, if Mr. Trump died in mysterious circumstances, Melania should be considered the first primary suspect. Mr. Trump believes she may have…
