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SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERY!
Donald Trump Doesn’t Turn People Bad, He Attracts Already Bad People
A new scientific tool called the “Dickhole Meter” shows Trump’s associates were already dickholes prior to meeting him.
A new, exhaustive study conducted by several collaborating universities in the St. Louis region has finally answered the age-old question of whether President Donald Trump turns the people around him into terrible human beings, or if he merely attracts already terrible people into his personal and political orbit.
“This question has really stumped the American people since Donald Trump began running for President,” explained Julia Erickson, the study’s lead sociologist. “I mean, right off the bat, he had campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, who was a real douche about everything from manhandling journalists, to admitting on TV he had no obligation to tell the truth to the American people, to backstabbing other members of the Trump campaign. Then, of course, we can’t forget Paul Manafort, who served as the campaign’s CEO, and served time in prison for decades’ worth of fraud and corruption. Then there’s Roger Stone, the self-described ‘dirty trickster,’ who also ended up with a prison sentence. Rick Gates and Michael Cohen went to jail as well…
