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An STD That Turns Penises Orange Was Just Named After Donald Trump

The newly discovered sexually transmitted disease is called Trumporrhea trachomatis

3 min readMar 8, 2025

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Photo by Tessy Agbonome via Pexels.com

A recent discovery of a new sexually transmitted disease has just given President Donald Trump his life’s latest honor.

The disease, scientifically classified as Trumporrhea trachomatis, is a mushroom-shaped bacterium that infects both genders’ urethras, but its visible symptoms are more apparent in males because it tends to turn the head of the penis an orange color in a manner that its medical discoverers thought bore a striking resemblance to Trump’s orange foundation makeup.

“The orange kind of flares out from the urethra’s opening, but in circumcised men it rarely extends to the edge of the penile head,” explained Dr. Harold Weinerman, who thought up the name for the new disease. “And, because you’re likely wondering, yes, my surname did indeed inspire my chosen field of medical study.”

Dr. Weinerman further explained the symptoms of Trumporrhea that convinced him Donald Trump was the perfect person to name it after.

“The orange discoloration is the classic indicator of Trumporrhea’s infection, and it almost perfectly imitates the President’s classic, minstrel-esque makeup look where he…

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Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Dash MacIntyre's writing studio of Dadaist graffiti news comedy, and other creative writings. Subscribe. Satire is cathartic in fascist eras.

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