COMEDY!
An Average Day In The Life Of A Democrat
A minute-by-minute guide on how liberals spend their free time.
6:06am — Wake up to the sound of a screaming newborn baby, and say quick morning prayers to the three S’s: Satan, Stalin, and Soros. Tap the snooze button several times because you were in the middle of sexy-dreaming about making out with Mao.
6:41am—Finally get up. Put on a scary Halloween mask to terrify your blood donor baby, and gets its adrenaline level up. Then perform a post-birth abortion on that baby while listening to NPR’s Morning News Edition. Remember you still want to check out Steve Inskeep’s new book from your local public library.
6:53am — Begin draining the sweet, youthful, adrenochrome-filled blood into a hollowed out dildo. Using a quill and some of the baby’s blood, write down a reminder on a post-it note to donate to NPR and get their free tote bag.
6:57am — Once drained, put the baby’s corpse into a box addressed to Hillary Clinton’s evil volcano lair if it’s an odd-numbered day, or Nancy Pelosi’s husband’s secret San Francisco gay sex bathhouse if it’s an even-numbered day.
6:58am — Put several Ruth Bader-Ginsburg themed stamps on it, and, just for good measure, write “I ❤️ CRITICAL RACE THEORY” on the box…
