Abortion Protesters Are Now Protesting Polyester At The Mall
After a morning of protesting at the local Planned Parenthood, several St. Louis Evangelical demonstrators took a break from screaming obscenities at young women getting medical checkups in order to go to the mall and scream obscenities at the apathetic employees of the West County Mall’s H&M clothing store for selling polyester clothing.
“A lot of other Evangelicals don’t realize this,” explained protest organizer Sally Shelderson, 43, a resident of St. Charles, “but the Bible specifically forbids mixing fibers in your clothes in Leviticus 19:19. So I got to thinking that we shouldn’t only be protesting abortion if our goal was to truly spread ALL the warnings of eternal damnation in the Lord’s holy book. In fact, many of our fellow Christian protesters who only seem to get involved when it calls for slut-shaming women are actually wearing polyester shirts and socks when they’re yelling out ‘whore’ insults! They’re protesting one sin while literally committing another! I even saw one protester this morning eating a cobb salad with shrimp on it. Shrimp! Can you believe it? Have these other Christian protesters ever even read Leviticus?”
Ms. Shelderson has built up an impressive Evangelical following in recent years thanks to her insistence that many more aspects of modern life deserve public shaming than just…
