Abort The Patriarchy In November

If women attempt a coup in D.C. at the Capitol, we can blame it on their economic frustration. Abortion bans will cause immeasurable economic frustration and loss of freedom.

Dash MacIntyre
5 min readMay 8, 2022

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Photo by Gayatri Malhotra

[Published first on my substack, The Halfway Café. If you enjoy liberal takes on contemporary politics and foreign policy, subscribe!]

There’s a trifecta of callousness in the right-wing circus tent, and when Roe v. Wade is banned the three main ideological groups of the GOP will get to show off their sanctimonious thirst for power over women and indifference to suffering children.

The Christian fundamentalists can say, “Whores have sex so they deserve to carry their fetuses to term, and must birth babies they don’t want or can’t afford regardless of human agency or personal medical circumstances, and its God’s will! As interpreted by me, the guy who knows exactly what God wants.”

When the baby takes its first breath of air the laissez-faire conservatives step in to cross their arms at any governmental subsidies and welfare programs that might help mom support the baby because “If we help you it would be communism.”

Then libertarians interject with, “You deserve your poverty you boostrapless parasite on society!”

And in between these exclamations of casual indifference all three groups remind us daily of the continuing degradation of the American Family™, and lament the number of divorces, single mothers, runaway fathers, and children with unstable home lives. But look at political maps of almost any problem and see the glaring pro-life inequalities. The epicenter of infant mortality, child poverty, under-education, hunger, and lack of preventative healthcare is the Bible Belt. Red states banning the family planning that abortion makes possible, among many other misguided socio-economic prescriptions, are not leading to a conservative utopia of strong, healthy nuclear families. It’s actually making their citizens’ lives objectively worse in economic ways that tear families apart.

But ever notice how Republicans never recite their pro-life mantra for literally any other governmental policy? Single-issue voters with abortion ought to…

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Follow THP at twitter.com/HalfwayPost to read my Dada news.