A Televangelist Claims “The Gays Tricked Me Into Doing A Gay!”
A major sex scandal featuring a gay sex tape is rocking the Church of Leviticus of televangelist Dan Whittington, who originally claimed the tape was fake, but, after its authenticity was confirmed, he claimed he had been tricked into a gay affair by the “Gay Mafia.”
“Folks, you know me, I’m the biggest follower of Jesus there is,” Whittington said in a video he released soon after the tape was publicized. “I know that the tape sounds bad and icky, but I’ll be 100% honest with you all: it has been released totally out of context. You see, I’ve been blackmailed by the Gay Mafia for several weeks now because they know I live by and fight for Christian values. It all started a little while ago when I went to a gay club undercover to try and figure out what the Gay Mafia was up to in their terrifying scheme to force all good Christians to submit to their homosexual agenda, and while I was there I had a few too many drinks while blending myself into the scene because I obviously had to act natural in order to do effective reconnaissance. So I got a little tipsy, and had to use the restroom. When I finally got to the bathroom stall there must have been some gay sperm on the floor or something because I slipped, grabbed a toilet lid for balance, accidentally snorted a few lines of cocaine that someone had irresponsibly left on the seat, stepped…
