A New Court Filing Lists Very Odd Things The FBI Found At Mar-A-Lago

Dash MacIntyre
4 min readJul 31, 2023
Credit: Gage Skidmore | gageskidmore.com | via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)

A newly submitted document from Special Counsel Jack Smith’s investigation into Donald Trump’s mishandling of classified documents revealed some surprising details of what was found at Mar-a-Lago during the FBI’s search and seizure of evidence last year:

  • Thousands of pages of the US military’s various war plans and deployment strategies kept in old, greasy, used KFC fried chicken buckets
  • Big boxes labeled “blackmail on Kevin McCarthy,” “Lindsey Graham’s dirty emails,” “pictures and payments found on Matt Gaetz’s cell phone,” “hidden discovery documents from Jim Jordan’s wrestling doctor lawsuits,” “videotape of Ted Cruz naked doing degrading things for a 2020 endorsement,” and “proof that Josh Hawley watches pornography on his Senate computer all day during his office hours”
  • Rudy Giuliani drunk and passed out on the couch in the lobby with his hand in his pants with empty scotch bottles, half smoked cigars, and letters from the New York Bar Association reminding him they’ve revoked his law license littered all around him
  • A term paper Trump wrote in high school about how genius and clever Hitler’s propaganda strategy was to tell nonstop lies about everyone and everything, and then refer to all the fact-checkers as…



Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.