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HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

A Mother’s Day Message From Donald Trump!

Dash MacIntyre
4 min readMay 14, 2023
(Official White House photo by Joyce N. Boghosian | Public Domain CC 1.0)

It’s your favorite president here, Donald J. Trump, the most respecting of mothers president this country has ever had, maybe even more than Lincoln and Washington combined!

Having just been totally vindicated and exonerated in my rape trial against that awful woman E. Jean Carroll, who my lawyers proved without a doubt lied about everything no matter what the jury said, I have a special message for my wives, who I’ve always been totally loyal and 100% dedicated to: Happy Mother’s Day!

And to my second wife, Marla Maples, I totally knew it was you in that picture during my deposition in the rape trial. I only said I thought you were E. Jean Carroll to throw off the judge and enemy lawyers. It was all part of a master legal strategy!

I’d also like to wish a very warm happy Mother’s Day to all the suburban white moms out there who better switch back to voting for Republicans in 2024! But not just any Republicans, only me. They better not vote for Ron DeSanctimonious. Or those nasty women like Nikki Haley, Liz Cheney, or any other dogs who might run against me! I feel sorry for their kids. What horrible, rag-soaking monsters those mothers are!

But on this day we recognize all the good mothers who do so much for our kids, particularly mine. I…

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Dash MacIntyre
Dash MacIntyre

Written by Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.

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