EXCLUSIVE!

A List Of Stories Donald Trump Paid To “Catch-And-Kill” Just Leaked!

(Official White House photo by D. Myles Cullen | Public Domain CC 1.0)

The following are all embarrassing news stories that Donald Trump paid to own the rights to, and then buried:

• The White House custodial staff had to do extensive refurbishing on the Oval Office’s Resolute Desk to remove four years’ worth of blue Adderall-stained boogers Trump left on the underside.