A Day In The Life Of A Woke, Satanic, Communist Democrat
A step-by-step guide on how to live like a liberal.
8:30am — Wake up to the sound of a screaming newborn baby, and say quick morning prayers to the three S’s: Satan, Stalin, and Soros.
8:31am — Put on a scary Halloween mask to terrify the baby, and gets its adrenaline level up. Then perform a post-birth abortion on that baby while listening to NPR’s Morning News Edition.
8:33am — Begin draining the sweet, youthful, adrenochrome-filled blood into a hollowed out dildo. Using a quill and some of the baby’s blood, write down a reminder on a post-it note to donate to NPR and get their free tote bag.
8:40am — Once drained, put the baby’s corpse into a box addressed to Hillary Clinton if it’s an odd-numbered day, or Nancy Pelosi if it’s an even-numbered day.
8:41am — Put several Ruth Bader-Ginsburg themed stamps on it, and, just for good measure, write “I ❤️ CRITICAL RACE THEORY” on the box, followed by “DEFUND THE POLICE” and “ANTIFA 4EVR.”
8:43am — Pour the dildo of baby blood into a blender, and add fresh, organic fruit from an Oregon farm worked exclusively by weed-smoking hippies who evaded the draft and made America lose the Vietnam War. Sprinkle in a few shredded up Bible pages and…
