A Chubby Man Just Told A Woman “If You Lost Like 10 lbs You’d Be Hotter”

Dash MacIntyre
2 min readAug 3, 2022
Photo by Liza Summer from Pexels

In a stunning act of hypocrisy, local chubby man Derek McGraw told his female co-worker, Sarah Phelps, “You know, if you lost, like, just 10 pounds, you’d be much hotter.”

The statement immediately inspired the scorn of their nearby colleague Tanisha Goodwin, who commented, “The same could be said of you, Derek, only it would take you losing 30 pounds for you to be average looking.”

Mr. McGraw then expressed his dissatisfaction with Ms. Goodwin, and stormed off back to his office cubicle and sat down in his chair that was slightly too small for his comfort.

Goodwin later acknowledged that her bitter reaction may have hurt Mr. McGraw’s feelings, but that she was sick of men fat-shaming women, especially fat men.

“Women don’t exist purely to please men as objects of their romantic and sexual fantasies,” she said. “Derek always makes these comments about what he thinks would make women hotter, as if any of these women would ever go out with him, or ever even entertain the idea of doing anything remotely sexual with him for five seconds. He’s been working here for four years, and he’s never had a girlfriend in all this time. Yet anytime someone mentions a movie they’ve recently watched, he’ll comment how he thinks the lead actress has gained weight. And he’s a tubby! There’s nothing wrong with him being overweight, of course, I’m just remarking on the literally shameless hypocrisy of his preposterous opinions on the physical appearance of the women around him.”

Well said, Ms. Goodwin.

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Dash MacIntyre

Comedian, political satirist, and poet. Created The Halfway Post. Check out my comedy book Satire In The Trump Years, and my poetry book Cabaret No Stare.