DADA!
7 Grocery Chains Have Agreed To #StarveTheBigots And Keep Supporting Gay People
And other Dada news headlines!
5 min readJun 1, 2023
Remember that each of these Dada news headlines are certifiably halfway true:
- A group of 35 MAGA fans in Idaho are on a hunger strike, and say they will not eat again until every corporation in America renounces homosexuality.
- Target employees say they can monitor when right wing, anti-gay protesters are coming to their store from the map on Grindr that shows users’ locations.
- Ron DeSantis’s plan to give teachers guns is backfiring because now all of Florida’s teachers are forcing students at gunpoint to write essays on the history of drag queens and poetry about the majestic beauty of gay sex.
- A virulently homophobic pastor from Arkansas who was recently hospitalized with a dildo up his butt claims Target employees snuck it into his cart, he unwittingly purchased it, and then he accidentally fell on it while praying.
- Florida Republicans are trying to ban “feminine products” from regular stores so Christians don’t have to see them, and have proposed creating a DMV-like government building where women will have to get a ticket and wait hours in order…
